About Me
I have been an animal lover my whole life. I believe the animal-human bond is nothing short of magical. Having grown up with dogs and cats, and having experienced the wonder of those relationships, the depth of the connection possible between an animal and a human has always fascinated me. I can't say that the love we share with our pets is better or worse than human relationships, it's simply different.
In 2019, I had to make the decision to euthanize my amazing and beautiful Manx cat Dublin. Not only was it the hardest decision and day of my life, but I was really unprepared for what would happen after I said goodbye to Dublin. We were roommates, best friends, and family for almost a decade. At the same time, my mother was also battling Lymphoma. A few months after Dublin transitioned, so did my mom.
I was then left to deal with both losses simultaneously. Over the following months, I was really struggling with my losses. I eventually sought professional help to better understand my grief and how I was, or was not, managing it. This was during the pandemic, so we weren't able to have a funeral for my mother, or engage in any of the social customs of mourning. When I expressed to my therapist how much I was struggling with BOTH losses, the grief I was experiencing regarding Dublin wasn't acknowledged to my satisfaction. I began to feel awkward and embarrassed about how much losing him was affecting me. I don't mean to speak poorly about my therapist, obviously he was focusing on the loss of my mother. Yet, the pain I felt about each loss was different, there were very distinct challenges involved in both. I didn't live with my mother. I lived with Dublin for nearly ten years, just me and him. I didn't feel personally guilty that my mom had cancer, but I did feel guilty in a way that haunted me regarding Dublin's health, even though I was not at fault. How I experienced each loss, was equally as profound, yet completely different.
I then began trying to find help in other ways... I hired a pet psychic. I guess I was hoping to find closure, believing this person could communicate with Dublin, and ease my pain. I attended virtual pet loss grief support groups, but only ended up sharing sadness with other pet parents...I was looking for something closer to hope. I read books on pet loss grief. I visited countless “ grief support “ websites, and followed various links to the available grief support resources. Everything I encountered felt repetitive and general. I just saw the same suggestions and advice. Take care of myself. Talk about my loss. Write about my loss. Celebrate the life I shared with Dublin. All of which are great ideas, they just forgot to tell me how to do all of these things.
I really needed help to transform the pain I was experiencing on a daily basis. I needed something to change how I felt whenever I opened my front door to an empty house. I needed a plan of action, not just empathy. So I started on the journey that eventually became this program. I knew I needed to take better care of myself, but what did that mean? I began looking at ways to improve my physical, emotional, and mental health. I started looking at ways I could change my environment at home, so that it didn't remind me of loss and absence, but instead made me think of hope and a brighter future. I started exploring what to write about, so that I had guidance. I started looking into creative ways to be able to honor the life I shared with Dublin. I started looking into what I could do when the sadness just caught me off guard and paralyzed me. I started looking for what could inspire this type of change. I was sick of being the victim to negative thoughts and feelings, when Dublin only provided me joy and happiness. He deserved better and so did I. I started studying everything I could about Positive Psychology and began implementing its philosophy and knowledge into my daily activities and mindset. ( Positive Psychology is the scientific study of human flourishing, and an applied approach to optimal functioning. It has also been defined as the study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals, communities and organizations to thrive (Gable & Haidt, 2005, Sheldon & King, 2001).
Once I started sharing everything I was doing about my grief with friends and acquaintances, about how I was being proactive and not passive with my grief, other people started asking me for my help. That slowly developed into a small business where I would share everything I learned about what makes pet loss different from other forms of loss. I then began sharing the tools I had created that helped me overcome my despair and grief and become able to carry the love Dublin gave me in a full heart and not a broken one. Although it was important to share the knowledge I had discovered about pet loss grief, it was equally as important to share the tools I had created, so that people could use them when they needed them the most, and in the comfort of their home. People needed access to the tools when they needed them, and not simply during our appointments.
I encourage anyone experiencing the intense difficulty of pet loss grief to seek any kind of help that they can. If traditional therapy or in-person grief counseling is best for your needs, then seek that out. Perhaps support groups will be the nurturing environment where you can work through your grief successfully. The point is, please do something. What we don't know about pet loss grief is often what prolongs our grief unnecessarily, and sometimes for years after we have said our final farewell.
The Forever In Our Hearts: Healing From Pet Loss Grief program is my contribution to this area of service. I simply needed more than what I found was currently available when I sought help. This program is the result of that journey, and the product of helping dozens of grieving pet parents transform their grief into joy. I hope that the insight, techniques, and inspiration will serve you as it has served me and countless others.
All My Best,
Patrick Morse
The Forever In Our Hearts: Healing From Pet Loss Grief program is in honor of, and dedicated to, Judith Sterling Plunkett, and Dublin the Magnificent. I love you both and may you both rest in peace. I know that you are keeping each other company and probably have much to say when I see you again…
Next Level Pets is committed to increasing awareness of pet loss grief, and to seeking out functional tools and methods to heal from ( pet loss ) grief. Not only do we strive to help individuals whose pet has passed, but we also strive to bring attention to, and help alleviate the tremendous emotional and psychological cost carried by EOL service providers, DVM’s, and all caregivers in the field of veterinary and animal health.
